Was It Really Wasted Time?

Stop judging your life decisions. I was going to be gentle today but decided that someone else needed to know what I have just learned in the same way that I learned it. You are welcome.

Life decisions are not meant to be judged but to be appreciated for the lessons that they teach us. If the only lesson from a situation that did not work out the way we wanted it is that it was a waste of time, we missed a few lessons. 

I have made many poor decisions in my life that felt like I wasted my time. From relationships to jobs to life experiences — They all felt wasted initially but when I look deeper what I have found is patience, trust, and grace. These three things have been the repeated lesson in most of those situations that I deemed wasted.

I talk a lot about extending grace to yourself because I want you to know that you are judging who you were based on who you are. If either of us had the wisdom and knowledge that we eventually learned, we would not have made the decision that left us feeling like we wasted our time. Even if we ignored a gut feeling, it was still based on the information that we chose to accept since there was no other evidence to say otherwise.

Torturing yourself over the what-if scenarios does not change what happened. Stop reliving, rehashing, and repeating those decisions. Nothing in your past is going to change because you keep revisiting what you could have, should have, or would have done had you known what you know today. Extend yourself grace.

Trust is a tougher lesson because some of us, me included, will go in the complete opposite direction after a bad situation. We will often not trust anyone or anything that resembles the last situation. I am not talking about red flags. Please DO NOT ignore those. The truth is that who really don’t trust is ourselves to make the right decision. We shut down and shut out the possibilities.

It’s not healthy and it keeps us stuck in a holding pattern. And much like the airplanes who are stuck in a holding pattern due to a passing storm, eventually, you will have to land due to low fuel. You end up in a desperate situation and land wherever is convenient but not necessarily safe causing you to repeat the very cycle that you were trying to avoid. What has been your cycle? Trust yourself to make the right decision for yourself with the information that you have. Keep moving.

The final lesson, patience. We will not always get it right and that is okay. The road to where we thought we wanted to go sometimes has detours and lane closures along the way. We are in hurry to get to the next place when there are moments along the way to savor when we have patience. Moments of solitude and gratefulness that we get to have new moments to figure it all out or to just experience more life. 

Patience helps us to appreciate what is right in front of us. It helps us to keep our focus on the here and now. It helps us to focus on trusting ourselves because we can see our situation better which in turn helps us to give ourselves grace. Wasted time is easy to accept if we ignore the lessons. If you look back at those moments that you deemed wasted, what would learn about yourself and others?

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